Tiny Toku Tales
by aceman88
Summary: You ever wanna just have a laugh at your favorite toku? Lampshade the most ridiculous things? Or just plain make fun of the genre? Well here is the thing for you! Power Rangers, Super Sentai, Kamen Rider, nothing is safe!
1. A Simple Explanation

This will be a series of short stories based on different tokusatsu, be it Power Rangers, Super Sentai, Kamen Rider or anything else that gets my attention.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the shows that will be in these stories, most are owned by Toei & Hasbro

 **Power Rangers Megaforce: A Simple Explanation**

Gosei has just given new morphers and keys to the Megaforce Rangers to change into their 'Super Modes', but Jake has just one question

"Am I the only one who notices my key's the wrong color?"

"Jake, there's a simple explanation for that." Gosei assures, seeming like he's gonna explain

A long pause follows...

"Well? What is it?" Jake asks

"Huh?"

"The explanation. The 'simple explanation' you just said."

"Oh, uh, that..."

"You took a long pause there, like you were waiting for something to happen."

"What? No, no, I was just preparing...yeah, just preparing."

"Are you prepared now?"

"J-just give me a bit of time,"

"Jake, just let it go." Troy says, "We need to go fight the aliens."

"I'm not ready till this guy tells me why I got a green key. Besides, doesn't it bother anyone else this guy never gives us a clear explanation for anything?"

"What do you mean?" asks Emma

"I mean for one thing, how was Tensou able to make the Commandship? The little guy has no arms!"

"Come to think of it," Noah chimes in, "It does seem highly unlikely a robot of his stature would build a machine that big, especially without arms."

"Yeah" Gia joins in, "And why are we just now getting these new powers? They would've been a much bigger help earlier."

"That because I needed to make sure you earned it." Gosei says

"Earned my butt! You've been giving us new zords for the tiniest of reasons!" Jake counters, "Now you're basically giving us a hundred new powers in one go!"

"Guys, I really think we should be going." Emma pleads, "The longer we stay here, the-"

"Don't worry about it, we can just teleport out later."

"Teleport? Oh yeah, we did do that before."

"That's a good point," Noah says, "Why have we been walking to the command center? How come you never teleported us again?"

"Why didn't you just teleport us here when we were separated?" Gia adds

"Yeah, why couldn't we teleport Robo Knight here?" Troy questions

"Alright! Alright already!" Gosei yells, "There's a simple explanation for all your questions!"

"Then what the hell are they?!" Jake yells

Suddenly there's an explosion outside, Tensou comes rolling in

"They almost hit the command center!"

"Go, Rangers!" Gosei commands, "Put your new powers to use!"

They all give an annoyed sigh before running out, but Jake stops near the opening

"This isn't over, you tiki-head bastard."

Jake runs out, not knowing he'll never get that 'simple explanation', because that's how Gosei rolls.


	2. Diane's Doubts

**Battle Fever J: Diane's Doubts**

The Battle Fever Team were hanging out in their headquarters, preoccupied with their own things, but their girl teammate, Diane really needed to ask something

"Do you guys think I'm an important member of the team?"

That got the guys' attention

"What do you mean, Diane?" Masao asks

"I mean it seems like I've not been allowed to go on field missions. Recently, I've just waited at the base till we need the robot."

"Well, field work can be dangerous sometimes," Kensaku responds with his 1970's mentality

"I am a trained FBI agent, don't pull that crap on me. Besides, that doesn't explain why Tomoko or Keiko go out sometimes, and they're not even in Battle Fever!"

"Well sometimes it relays on the situation." Shiro says

"Oh, you mean like that ghost in the girls' sorority? Tell me, why did you think it was a good idea for you and Shiraishi to crossdress to sneak in there instead of sending me, you know an actual woman?"

"The guys are having a hard time to counter

"Besides, it isn't just field work, it's also my suit!"

To emphasis her upcoming points, Diane transforms into Miss America

"For one, why am I called 'Miss America'? Why not 'Battle America' like you guys?"

"I don't know, General Tetsuzan was the one who made our suits." Masao points out

"Well he had better got an explanation for this: Why do I have a wig?"

"Maybe so people will know you're a woman?" Shiro suggests

"Like the name 'Miss America' or just looking at me wouldn't tip anyone off? You know how many times I had to get this damn thing out of my eyes in battle? I could barely see out of this to begin with. Why wasn't I just given molded hair on my helmet?"

"Well considering you had just joined us, maybe he didn't have time to make a better suit?" Kensaku suggests

"Is that why my suit is just a leotard? Everyone gets full body covering suits while I get a legless leotard?" She puts one leg on a table, "I have to wear pantyhose to cover my legs! It's a miracle none of Egos had targeted my legs since the only thing protecting them is nylons."

"Maybe even they can't bring themselves to even scratch such lovely legs?" Kyousuke says, everyone just stares at him for a few good seconds.

"Anyway, you know what the biggest problem with a leotard? You know how many times I had to pick a wedgie from my butt? Probably only half the number of times I caught Cutmen pinching it when I'm not looking."

"Diane, we see what you mean." Masao says, "It does seem like we've been excluding you from a lot of things, and maybe your suit is not well thought out. But you indeed are a cherished ally, and the rest of us are genuinely happy you are on our team."

"Really?"

"That's right!" Kensaku agrees

"Qui, madam." Kyuosuke seconds

"Of course." Shiro finishes

"From now on we'll try our best to be better teammates to you."

"Thank you guys, though now I just have one question: Why do we enter the Battle Fever Robo by flying into it's crotch?"

"Everyone shares a big hearty laugh

"I'm serious"

The guys keep their word, they tried their best to be better teammates and friends to Diane...until two days later Diane had to leave the team and was replaced by Maria Nagisa, who proved to be a much better Miss America, and everyone forgot all about Diane.


	3. Super-Duper-Mighty-Omega Shocker!

**Kamen Rider: Super-Duper-Mighty-Omega Shocker!**

 ****"At last, my kaijin, we have revived again!" announces the Great Leader of Shocker, "The world shall be reminded of our power, of our cruelty, of our mercilessness, and we shall finally rule the world!"

"Yay..." came the not-so enthusiastic response from the assembled kaijin, much to the Great Leader's shock

"What is this? Aren't you looking forward to crushing the wills of humanity?"

"Honestly, Great Leader, what's the point?" says Colonel Zol

"The Kamen Riders will just join up again and kill us all, again." says Doctor Shinigami

"Not this time, the Riders will be too busy fighting each other that-"

"You're gonna have them beat the crap out of each other for some pointless reason, but either they'll get over it or pretend tp hate each other before 'Rider Kicking' us back to hell." moaned General Shadow

"It isn't pointless! Don't interrupt me again-"

"Really? What are you gonna do?" asked Mr. Titan

"We'll cause a divide between the generations. The old Riders already don't have a high regard for the newer ones, we'll just instigate them-"

"Tried it!" announced Tigeroid

"What?"

"We already tried that, we had the old guys hate on the new ones, caused them to fight, but then it turns out ZX went undercover in our group to mess up our plans, all Riders joined forces and we got killed."

"Oh. Well then, we'll just cause tension between the Riders and another group of heroes, the Super Sen-"

"Did that too!" this time it was Apollo Geist who interrupted the Great Leader, "We even teamed with the Sentai bad guys, didn't work out."

"Were we being led by that Narutaki guy that time?" asked the Rose Orphenoch

"The raincoat wearing jackass who stole my identity?" questioned Dokter G

"He stole mine too!" sounded off Colonel Zol

"Silence! Okay, Sentai is out of the question, so how about the Metal Heroes?"

"Did that too." Space Spider-Man yells

"Oh, how about the Ultramen? All of them could easily squash the Riders!" suggested Phantom Phoenix

"Sure, and after they squash the Riders, they could squash us too!" Weather Dopant barks back

"Alright forget that plan!"

"Let's face it master, we've exhausted every plan in the book." moaned Ambassador Hell

"Quite frankly, most of us are getting sick of dying and being brought back to life over and over!" Shiomaneking complains

"I've died so many times, I really don't care about life anymore." Scorpion-Man emotionlessly says

"I for one am getting sick of all this 'Shocker' stuff!" shouts General Black, "Neoshocker, Daishocker, Super Shocker, Space Shocker, Nova Shocker, why do we keep using Shocker!"

"Agreed, we should call ourselves 'Dai-Geddon'!" suggests Ten-Faced Demon Gorgos

"No, 'Super Museum'!" Terror Dopant throws in

"The 'Mega-Greeed'!" Kazarli chimes in

"No, 'Ultimate Crisis'!" General Jark proclaims

"Shut up! All of you, just shut up!" Great Leader has had it, "We are Shocker! No argument! It doesn't matter how many times we revive, or that we're much weaker every time we come back. We will continue to do this until Shocker has conquered all!"

So they came up with a plan...it failed...they got their asses kicked by the Riders again, Great Leader was Rider Kicked to oblivion, maybe one got him in the butt, and the Riders learned some special lesson in working together...at least until the next time they pointlessly fight.


	4. Any OC-Rider Story

**Any OC-Rider Story**

I can't believe I was so lucky. I just came back from (insert any fan convention here), with a DX Sengoku Driver from 'Kamen Rider Gaim', with the Lockseed of my favorite Rider on the show. I was crossing the street, and like an idiot didn't look both ways because I was so damn excited about my expensive imported toy, I didn't notice as a big semi came barreling right into me.

I woke up to find myself in a white void, seemingly endless, devoid of all life. My first reaction after waking up was...

"HOLY CRAP! JESUS CHRIST THAT HURT LIKE A MOTHERF(BEEP)! WHO THE CRAP WAS DRIVING THAT GODDAMN TRUCK? MR. F(BEEP)ING MAGOO!? OW! AH! F(BEEP)!"

Keep in mind, I was just ran over by a big truck, and apparently death isn't as 'painless' as people claim.

"Claim down, my dear. You are in no danger." A serene sounding voice said. I stopped my explicit rant to find a beautiful young woman staring at me, with a smile she said, "It appears fate has chosen you for a grand mission."

"Fate? Lady the only 'fate' I had was Facebooking my latest buy. Then, I would've spent the next 12 hours doing random shit on the internet than anything more productive in my life."

"Be that as it may, you have been chosen to save a world on the brink of destruction."

"Why?"

"Because of your love for a certain tv show."

"What? Kamen Rider? Lady, I just watch the show because it's better than any crap tv shows being made in America, it doesn't inspire me to become a better person in any way."

"It seems you have confidence issues. Don't worry, I'll give you the power you need."

Suddenly, she produced a blinding light, and I find myself in an amusement park at night.

"Okay, don't ask me for permission, you dumb bit-"

"BLACK THUNDER!"

"WHITE THUNDER!"

"WHAT THE CRAP!?"

I look over to find two young girls charging up, then blasting a big beam thing at a monster roller coaster. I recognize them from a guilty pleasure of mine

"That's the first Pretty Cure, I'm in Pretty Cure, WHY THE HELL AM I IN PRETTY CURE!?"

"Because this world is in grave danger." said the Lady who has been beside me the entire time, and I just didn't care to notice

"Why? This world already has heroes in it. I'm pretty sure they can handle it."

"No, not this threat."

Suddenly, I heard what sound like big zippers opening. I look at the cures to find them being surrounded by Invess from Kamen Rider Gaim.

"What? What are these things. Mipu?" said the annoying yellow mascot

"Arienai!"

"Why the hell are Invess here? This isn't their show."

"This is why they need your help, they don't have the means to defeat these creatures."

"Wait, I just bought a Sengoku Driver from Gaim, and now there's monsters from Gaim. Did you set this up?"

"Whatever do you mean?"

"I mean there's no way this is a coincidence, you had to have plan this."

"Are you just gonna stand here and let them die?" she points over to show the Cures getting their asses kicked by the Invess (I mean it's their first episode, they're not strong fighters yet)

"Well, how am I gonna fight?"

"Your items have become the real things."

I look and find the Sengoku Driver and Lockseed have become the real deal. Seeing as I have no choice, I put the driver on my waist, a yellow belt goes around me. The Lady smiles as I hold the Lockseed up, prepared to say the immortal word.

"HENSHIN!"

 **DONGURI!**

"Wait, what?" goes the Lady as I place the Donguri Lockseed into the Driver.

 **LOCK ON!**

 **DONGURI ARMS!**

 **NEVER GIVE UP!**

I have now henshined into Kamen Rider Gridon. I picked up the hammer thing and charged at the Invess

(Ten Minutes of Getting My ass Kicked Later...)

I was back in the white void, beaten and bruised, the Cures had just saved my skin, and I was pretty sure the yellow mascot bastard was laughing at my pain.

"Gridon?" the Lady asks in confusion, "Why did you have Gridon's Lockseed?"

"He's my favorite Gaim character."

"What! But he's an idiot! Why not Baron, or Ryugen? Hell, even Sigurd?"

"Hideyoshi's funny."

"You know what? Maybe the fates were wrong. I'm sending you back home."

"Wait, what about the Invess in Pretty Cure?"

"Doesn't matter, be gone."

"Wait! I got hit by a truck! Aren't I dead? You didn't even tell me who the hell you are!"

I never got an answer as I faded away, maybe back to life, or to heaven, but most likely hell. I had too many pictures of Sailor Moon tentacle porn stashed away

If you're wondering about the Lady, she found another chosen one, who had just bought a new DX henshin belt...of Kamen Rider Scissors


End file.
